imsorryimsorryimsorry

Never wanted this never want to see you hurt.

Rough night. It was supposed to be a good time and it was up until the end. I just feel terrible :( I guess I'll start by saying that I went out with a friend who wanted to be more than a friend for quite some time. But in my own defense I told him numerous times I didn't feel the same way as him. I guess I shouldn't have hung out with him after that but I enjoy his company. I think tonight was the last time we'd be in eachother's company. I'm sad because he said I had been his crush for like 5 years and I know how it feels for your crush to not feel the same way, and it sucks. I wish i felt differently but I just don't and I'm sorry.

On a lighter note, I am working tomorrow!! It's about daammnn time. I'm working at the Sugarland show tomorrow night and then the Kiss concert all day on Saturday. Then on Monday I am getting my wisdom teeth out, YIKES!! I am definitely not looking forwad to that but I'll be glad when they're out. Other then that I've really just been on an intense job search with NO luck, shoot me. It's absolutely horrible and I need money now more than I ever have. CMA fest is in less than a month and I still haven't bought my plane ticket. Speaking of CMA fest, Lorena isn't coming anymore and I couldn't be more upset about it. I had a gut feeling something would prevent her from going the entire time but the reality of it just sucks. And it's her birthday that week so it's just a huge bummer, especially for her :( I wish money grew on trees.

I'm also trying to get loans for Johnson and Wales next semester because as of now I need to come up with 16 grand ASAP and it's just not looking very good right now. I know there are thousands of colleges in the country but not ones that have my major. If the do they are basically the same price as J&W. It's not even like I mind paying that much I just don't have it and really have no way of getting it. Nobody will give me a loan :(
I hate to complain so much but my life just isn't really going according to plan right now. I am beyond frustrated and I feel sort of trapped and helpless, I hate it. I don't know who to turn to or where to even start.. I just hope I figure something out soon because I can't live like this! It's driving me crazy, I am just miserable :(

Anyways.. I guess I'll stop complaining now. Goodnight blog :)

Coco