So I've noticed that my past few blogs are a lot of me complaining which I don't think is cool. I mean yeah, this is my blog and I DO WHAT I WANT buttt complaining is annoying so I shall stop. Not completely because what else can i really talk about if I'm not complaining? I'm quite the complainer if you haven't noticed ;)
Anywho, my apologies for not writing in a while, now isn't reallyyyy the time to write a whole huge thing cause I'm 2 glasses of wine and a glass of champagne deep, which to some of you is probably your pre game but for my lightweight self it's just a wee bit more :) I ain't ashameddddd
mkayy I felt the need to give a little update because I've been neglecting this lately :( so dere she is.
more to come when I'm sober!
<3
p.s congrats to a couple fabuloso musicians, Rascal Flatts got asked to be members of the Grand Ole Opry tonight and it's about damn time :)
laterrrrr!
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Sunday, September 18, 2011
got my mind on my money, money on my mind.
I'm bugging out. It's almost 4 am and i'm at my mom and sister's because it was her birthday tonight and I met her our for it. I only stayed out for maybe an hour because I've been working so I'm exhausted. I've been sleeping and woke up because the baby was fussing and my mom and sister were up. They live in a small apartment so it woke me up. Which in my sleepy mind pissed me off and my mind started going and because I'm always worried about everything I started worrying about my life and money and recent decisions I've made and now I'm just freaking out about everything and can't go back to sleep :(
I'm supposed to be going to see Adele in 2 weeks in New Jersey with my friend but just decided that I can't because it's just going to be too expensive to get there and stay in a hotel and all that shit. I have to buy my books for school out of my own god damned pocket because financial aid and college fucking SUCK. I'm moving to Rhode Island and I'm going to have to pay rent and pay for the train to Boston on Tuesdays and Thursdays and pay to drive 40 minutes to work and pay for my phone and pay to keep my car running and just burn money because it's the story of my life. I can't deal with this. ='(
I've been really stressed forever and I'm starting to crack and I don't want to. I just want things to work out and be okay and fix themselves. I want to make the right choices and not be fucked over like my parents but it's too late for that. I'm already screwed because of school. Why is it so expensive? It doesn't even make sense. America wants it's citizens to be educated and get good jobs yet they make it almost impossible to do so. If you didn't do amazing in high school or if you're not a minority (and I belong to neither club) you're basically shit on their shoe, fend for yourself. They make you believe all through grade school and high school that you NEED to go to college to survive and be successful so everyone does it and ends up in insane debt forever. Banks take advantage of college freshman and send them credit cards so they spend it all because they're college freshman and have no conception of how to deal with money and credit so they screw themselves and the banks LOVE IT because now they'll make money off of you until you die.
Money rules the world and I hate it.
I'm going apple picking tomorrow and it's the only thing I'm excited about right now, really excited about actually. Apple picking rules :)
I'm supposed to be going to see Adele in 2 weeks in New Jersey with my friend but just decided that I can't because it's just going to be too expensive to get there and stay in a hotel and all that shit. I have to buy my books for school out of my own god damned pocket because financial aid and college fucking SUCK. I'm moving to Rhode Island and I'm going to have to pay rent and pay for the train to Boston on Tuesdays and Thursdays and pay to drive 40 minutes to work and pay for my phone and pay to keep my car running and just burn money because it's the story of my life. I can't deal with this. ='(
I've been really stressed forever and I'm starting to crack and I don't want to. I just want things to work out and be okay and fix themselves. I want to make the right choices and not be fucked over like my parents but it's too late for that. I'm already screwed because of school. Why is it so expensive? It doesn't even make sense. America wants it's citizens to be educated and get good jobs yet they make it almost impossible to do so. If you didn't do amazing in high school or if you're not a minority (and I belong to neither club) you're basically shit on their shoe, fend for yourself. They make you believe all through grade school and high school that you NEED to go to college to survive and be successful so everyone does it and ends up in insane debt forever. Banks take advantage of college freshman and send them credit cards so they spend it all because they're college freshman and have no conception of how to deal with money and credit so they screw themselves and the banks LOVE IT because now they'll make money off of you until you die.
Money rules the world and I hate it.
I'm going apple picking tomorrow and it's the only thing I'm excited about right now, really excited about actually. Apple picking rules :)
Sunday, September 4, 2011
TRUTH.
There is always that one person or group of people who try to stop you from following your dreams. Fuck them, follow everything you believe in.
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Stresssssssssssed
School starts in 3 days, I just got a new job that scheduled me on days I'm working at H&M who I haven't given my two weeks to yet, I need to move out of this house and I'm just about poor. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck me.
I don't think I've ever been so stressed out in my entire life, it's a miracle that I haven't had multiple anxiety attacks in the past couple weeks. Let's face it, I am not a decision maker and all of these more than semi important decisions have been thrown in my face and other people are pressuring me to hurry up and decide and what if I make the wrong decision? Why can't they just BACK OFF and give me some fucking room to breath and time to think? GAAWWDDD ugghhh. And to top off today some little weasel at work drank my muther effin lemonde from the fridge!!! There was maybe a quarter left and that little fucker drank from my straw, DRANK IT ALL and left the cup with ice in it, for me. You have no idea how much I was looking forward to those last sweet delicious drops of lemonade after work. I'm going to find out who it was and... do something. Idk what yet I can't think of anything good right now but it'll be something! Asshole.
I'm getting sick and I hope whoever drank it gets my sick germies and gets sicker than me! HA!
Another thing on mah mind is...wait I forgot.. ugh shit I lost my train of thought mid sentence. dangiiittt!
If I remember I'll come back and write it in.
laterrr!!
Oh I remember!
Tonight some rude bitch was rude to me at work and I thought about it for a good half hour and I was somewhat upset that she was rude to me. It wasn't directly to me, her bf (i think) asked me a question about an jacket and everything we have is on the floor and I guess my answer was half retarded and I knew it was coming off the wrong way as it was coming out of my mouth but it was too late and she just gave me the dirtiest "what a dumbass" look I've ever gotten to my face. So it bothered me because I care way too much about what other people think. I'm not one of those people who will lie and say idc about what anyone thinks I do meeee fuck the world. Nah, i do do me and fuck the world but I still care about how others feel about me. I just like to liked I guess and when someone doesn't like me i dun like it :(
So my point is I need to stop caring about what other people think and just get on with my life. And i'm pretty convinced I'm a compulsive swearer. I swear way too much, all the time, even at work. I don't even realize I'm swearing the words are just like any other to me. But this obviously offends others so I'm trying to cut back, which is ridiculous because I'll never stop swearing OH WELL :)
k I'm done, thanks for listening :)
I don't think I've ever been so stressed out in my entire life, it's a miracle that I haven't had multiple anxiety attacks in the past couple weeks. Let's face it, I am not a decision maker and all of these more than semi important decisions have been thrown in my face and other people are pressuring me to hurry up and decide and what if I make the wrong decision? Why can't they just BACK OFF and give me some fucking room to breath and time to think? GAAWWDDD ugghhh. And to top off today some little weasel at work drank my muther effin lemonde from the fridge!!! There was maybe a quarter left and that little fucker drank from my straw, DRANK IT ALL and left the cup with ice in it, for me. You have no idea how much I was looking forward to those last sweet delicious drops of lemonade after work. I'm going to find out who it was and... do something. Idk what yet I can't think of anything good right now but it'll be something! Asshole.
I'm getting sick and I hope whoever drank it gets my sick germies and gets sicker than me! HA!
Another thing on mah mind is...wait I forgot.. ugh shit I lost my train of thought mid sentence. dangiiittt!
If I remember I'll come back and write it in.
laterrr!!
Oh I remember!
Tonight some rude bitch was rude to me at work and I thought about it for a good half hour and I was somewhat upset that she was rude to me. It wasn't directly to me, her bf (i think) asked me a question about an jacket and everything we have is on the floor and I guess my answer was half retarded and I knew it was coming off the wrong way as it was coming out of my mouth but it was too late and she just gave me the dirtiest "what a dumbass" look I've ever gotten to my face. So it bothered me because I care way too much about what other people think. I'm not one of those people who will lie and say idc about what anyone thinks I do meeee fuck the world. Nah, i do do me and fuck the world but I still care about how others feel about me. I just like to liked I guess and when someone doesn't like me i dun like it :(
So my point is I need to stop caring about what other people think and just get on with my life. And i'm pretty convinced I'm a compulsive swearer. I swear way too much, all the time, even at work. I don't even realize I'm swearing the words are just like any other to me. But this obviously offends others so I'm trying to cut back, which is ridiculous because I'll never stop swearing OH WELL :)
k I'm done, thanks for listening :)
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