By golly I've been speaking in a British accent all day long why stop now?!
Okay I'll stop.
Once again it's been too long since my last entry but I have just a small tic on my mind that's really getting to me so here goes. Sorry if I offend anyone though quite frankly I don't really care ;)
What is the deal with guys and blonde chicks? It's a hair color, honestly. I am not jealous, far from it, I just don't see what their fascination is. If a girl is sexy then she's sexy and that's it. She can have great hair and great eyes and whatever but why do they need to be so specific with the hair color?
Maybe I'd be saying this about brunettes if I were blonde but it's on my mind because of a conversation I just had so I feel the need to blurt it out to whoever reads my blog mkaayyy.
Anyways, enough about blondes.
I'm officially withdrawn from school. I can't really believe I did it. Relief and fear come to mind when I sit here and think about it. I really hope I didn't make a huge mistake. It's easy to get back into school though if I really feel like I can't survive and make a living without a damn degree. I actually know I didn't make a huge mistake but part of me feels like I'm supposed to be scared about this, truthfully I'm not nearly as scared as I think most people would be in my situation. I feel really hopeful and excited about what's coming in the next few months :)
Freedom, sweet freedom and happiness. I know I could fail miserably once I move to Nashville and end up with a crappy job that pays just enough to pay my rent and buy my coffees( because let's be honest coffee is the only other thing I'll absolutely NEED) but I'm going to be happy regardless because there's no place I want to be more right now then Nashville, TN =)
That may change in a couple years and I'll probably get the urge to move again but I think that when I am ready to settle down once and for all, after I get the "live in as many cities/states/countries as I can before I get too old and people think I've passed the "family stage" age and pity me" out of my system I'll end up in Nashville, without a doubt.
Tomorrow I need to find another job because wedding season is dying and I have WAY too much free time on my hands now, god knows what I'll end up doing if i just sit around thinking all day long, I'll lose my mind completely and you'll never hear from me again. Sounds like a terrible nightmare, I know.
CHEERIO!
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
baby come over here let's lay down whisper in my ear oh I love that sound.
love that song :)
I'm really happy right now, happier than I've been in a little while. Strange to think it's because I'm dropping out of college. I don't like the way that sounds so let's call it withdrawing. My dad laughed when I said that but it makes me feel like a failure to say that I'm dropping out. Plus I have a plan of going back in two years if i don't "make it" as my sister put it.
I feel really relieved. I still have to go to my school and officially withdraw aka sign my life away to financial aid. I also have to talk to my adviser aka defend my decision and dignity. Sounds like fun, right? God I'm excited for that!
It's going to be fine though because I know what I waannnnt and I'm letting myself have ittttt, feels goood.
That's all I got for tonight. I have something else on my mind but that's for another time.
Laterrrrr gaterrrrrr :)
I'm really happy right now, happier than I've been in a little while. Strange to think it's because I'm dropping out of college. I don't like the way that sounds so let's call it withdrawing. My dad laughed when I said that but it makes me feel like a failure to say that I'm dropping out. Plus I have a plan of going back in two years if i don't "make it" as my sister put it.
I feel really relieved. I still have to go to my school and officially withdraw aka sign my life away to financial aid. I also have to talk to my adviser aka defend my decision and dignity. Sounds like fun, right? God I'm excited for that!
It's going to be fine though because I know what I waannnnt and I'm letting myself have ittttt, feels goood.
That's all I got for tonight. I have something else on my mind but that's for another time.
Laterrrrr gaterrrrrr :)
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
BIG changes.
haaayyyyyyyyy
what the fuck is good? Pardon my absence yet again, I been busy.
Shit has been going down, I moved! Maybe I said that in my last blog. I've been working my arse off and barely getting by in school. Which brings me to the reason I felt the urge the write here, I have A LOT on my mind. I won't get into all of it because god knows I could go on for days and that will just get annoying. SO today kind of suddenly (btw I hafta mention that Sarah Evans is on the Opry right now and is just doing terrible, I love her but my gahhd she's dropping the ball.) but not so suddenly because it's been on my mind forever, and when I say forever I mean since I started college.
I've known exactly what I want to do since probably junior year of high school and my main dilemma was figuring out where to go to college to work in the music industry, I didn't really think it was a field that was taught or learned in college. Obviously it is but i sucked in high school because I couldn't have cared less about my grades and all that bullshit so I had to go to community college and straighten my ass out then went to Memphis then foolishly came back to Boston. So the point is that I'm over this school thing. I literally hate it.
I feel like if I had gone to the school I wanted to originally, straight out of high school (which was Belmont in Nashville) then I would be fine. I'd be 2 semester's away from getting my bachelors in music business and I'd be happy as a clam in lovely Nashville. Instead, I'm a hot mess struggling to keep my head above water in New England. Staying focused and motivated while being in a place I don't feel like I belong in is probably one of the hardest things I've had to force myself to do. Last year was fine, I wasn't happy but I was content for the time being. This year is different. I'm so unfocused and distracted and frustrated with school that I can't seem to get my head together and do my papers or study or anything and it SUCKS. I'm miserable with school and I'm not doing my best which is frustrating me even more. If I'm going to graduate from college I want to accept my degree knowing that I did my best and as of right now I don't see that happening.
SO I think I'm going to take 2 years off, move to Nashville and see how it goes. If after 2 years i fail miserably at trying to succeed I'll go back to school and get a degree. I'll be refreshed and be able to focus if nothing else works out, it will be all I'll have so I won't really have a choice.
I know this is some what rash, or may seem that way but it's not to me. I've wanted to live in music city FOREVER and I can't help but feel like I'm wasting time and potential being in Boston. The industry that I want to work in is not here, it's 1200 miles away in a beautiful place with beautiful people that I'm supposed to be a part of. That's where I need to be and it's about damn time that I go. So I'm aiming forrrrr early next year. No later than April :)
Glad I got that out! Gaaasshhh I'm relieved.. I told my mom earlier and she's always been supportive about me moving and doing what I want, now I just have to tell my Dad. I hate to let him down by leaving school.. but I can't be unhappy and I know I'll barely skim by if not fail if I stay in school right now.
=) finally making this decision makes me happy :)
also, the fact that Harry Potter is on right now doesn't hurt either.
buh bye <3
what the fuck is good? Pardon my absence yet again, I been busy.
Shit has been going down, I moved! Maybe I said that in my last blog. I've been working my arse off and barely getting by in school. Which brings me to the reason I felt the urge the write here, I have A LOT on my mind. I won't get into all of it because god knows I could go on for days and that will just get annoying. SO today kind of suddenly (btw I hafta mention that Sarah Evans is on the Opry right now and is just doing terrible, I love her but my gahhd she's dropping the ball.) but not so suddenly because it's been on my mind forever, and when I say forever I mean since I started college.
I've known exactly what I want to do since probably junior year of high school and my main dilemma was figuring out where to go to college to work in the music industry, I didn't really think it was a field that was taught or learned in college. Obviously it is but i sucked in high school because I couldn't have cared less about my grades and all that bullshit so I had to go to community college and straighten my ass out then went to Memphis then foolishly came back to Boston. So the point is that I'm over this school thing. I literally hate it.
I feel like if I had gone to the school I wanted to originally, straight out of high school (which was Belmont in Nashville) then I would be fine. I'd be 2 semester's away from getting my bachelors in music business and I'd be happy as a clam in lovely Nashville. Instead, I'm a hot mess struggling to keep my head above water in New England. Staying focused and motivated while being in a place I don't feel like I belong in is probably one of the hardest things I've had to force myself to do. Last year was fine, I wasn't happy but I was content for the time being. This year is different. I'm so unfocused and distracted and frustrated with school that I can't seem to get my head together and do my papers or study or anything and it SUCKS. I'm miserable with school and I'm not doing my best which is frustrating me even more. If I'm going to graduate from college I want to accept my degree knowing that I did my best and as of right now I don't see that happening.
SO I think I'm going to take 2 years off, move to Nashville and see how it goes. If after 2 years i fail miserably at trying to succeed I'll go back to school and get a degree. I'll be refreshed and be able to focus if nothing else works out, it will be all I'll have so I won't really have a choice.
I know this is some what rash, or may seem that way but it's not to me. I've wanted to live in music city FOREVER and I can't help but feel like I'm wasting time and potential being in Boston. The industry that I want to work in is not here, it's 1200 miles away in a beautiful place with beautiful people that I'm supposed to be a part of. That's where I need to be and it's about damn time that I go. So I'm aiming forrrrr early next year. No later than April :)
Glad I got that out! Gaaasshhh I'm relieved.. I told my mom earlier and she's always been supportive about me moving and doing what I want, now I just have to tell my Dad. I hate to let him down by leaving school.. but I can't be unhappy and I know I'll barely skim by if not fail if I stay in school right now.
=) finally making this decision makes me happy :)
also, the fact that Harry Potter is on right now doesn't hurt either.
buh bye <3
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