it's been a while.

Something on my mind.
This is random because I haven't written here in a while but obviously things are still going on. A lot actually, too much to share now but I really want to talk about people.

People are so influential on everything we do. How we act, why we laugh, why we don't laugh. Some people kill themselves because of another persons relentless abuse, whether it's physical or mental. Everyone strives to be happy and strives to be loved whether you admit it or not, everyone wants to be loved by another person.

Sometimes you fall for someone you think is completely right for you and sometimes it works but more times it doesn't. Trial and error. You have to try things to figure out if you like them or not and it's the same with people.
It's terrifying to me to completely give myself to someone else because they can do whatever they want with what you give. They can give you everything back or they can take everything you gave and leave with it.

People have secrets and they're secrets for a reason, but when you find someone who is willing to give you everything of themselves, don't be afraid to give everything back. Regardless of the circumstances, be happy and give your all to everything and everyone who you think deserves it.

You have to get hurt in order to know your human, in order to know you can heal and be vulnerable. It's the best and the worst feeling at the same time. It's worth the risk.

Nothing lasts forever, don't regret something that once made you happy and take chances.


That's all.

Happy Valentines Day.

Helloooo there! (british accent)

By golly I've been speaking in a British accent all day long why stop now?!

Okay I'll stop.
Once again it's been too long since my last entry but I have just a small tic on my mind that's really getting to me so here goes. Sorry if I offend anyone though quite frankly I don't really care ;)

What is the deal with guys and blonde chicks? It's a hair color, honestly. I am not jealous, far from it, I just don't see what their fascination is. If a girl is sexy then she's sexy and that's it. She can have great hair and great eyes and whatever but why do they need to be so specific with the hair color?
Maybe I'd be saying this about brunettes if I were blonde but it's on my mind because of a conversation I just had so I feel the need to blurt it out to whoever reads my blog mkaayyy.

Anyways, enough about blondes.
I'm officially withdrawn from school. I can't really believe I did it. Relief and fear come to mind when I sit here and think about it. I really hope I didn't make a huge mistake. It's easy to get back into school though if I really feel like I can't survive and make a living without a damn degree. I actually know I didn't make a huge mistake but part of me feels like I'm supposed to be scared about this, truthfully I'm not nearly as scared as I think most people would be in my situation. I feel really hopeful and excited about what's coming in the next few months :)
Freedom, sweet freedom and happiness. I know I could fail miserably once I move to Nashville and end up with a crappy job that pays just enough to pay my rent and buy my coffees( because let's be honest coffee is the only other thing I'll absolutely NEED) but I'm going to be happy regardless because there's no place I want to be more right now then Nashville, TN =)
That may change in a couple years and I'll probably get the urge to move again but I think that when I am ready to settle down once and for all, after I get the "live in as many cities/states/countries as I can before I get too old and people think I've passed the "family stage" age and pity me" out of my system I'll end up in Nashville, without a doubt.

Tomorrow I need to find another job because wedding season is dying and I have WAY too much free time on my hands now, god knows what I'll end up doing if i just sit around thinking all day long, I'll lose my mind completely and you'll never hear from me again. Sounds like a terrible nightmare, I know.



CHEERIO!

baby come over here let's lay down whisper in my ear oh I love that sound.

love that song :)
I'm really happy right now, happier than I've been in a little while. Strange to think it's because I'm dropping out of college. I don't like the way that sounds so let's call it withdrawing. My dad laughed when I said that but it makes me feel like a failure to say that I'm dropping out. Plus I have a plan of going back in two years if i don't "make it" as my sister put it.

I feel really relieved. I still have to go to my school and officially withdraw aka sign my life away to financial aid. I also have to talk to my adviser aka defend my decision and dignity. Sounds like fun, right? God I'm excited for that!
It's going to be fine though because I know what I waannnnt and I'm letting myself have ittttt, feels goood.

That's all I got for tonight. I have something else on my mind but that's for another time.

Laterrrrr gaterrrrrr :)